BigFatPurse - Living A Life of Abundance | Investment, Personal Finance and Success » Success

Bruce Lee – “It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.”

Alvin — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 23:17:18 +0000

Are we having too much clutter at home? Are we adding more material things into our life but not necessary needing them? Are we spending our time aimlessly watching TV or surfing the internet?

We have limited time and one life. We must learn to stop wasting our time and money on unnecessary things. Discard them and you will have more time and money.

Bruce Lee said it is analogous to sculpting a statue. Instead of adding decoration to a piece of rock, a sculptor chisel away the unwanted parts to reveal the beauty of a statue.

Decrease something daily. Hack away at the unessential.

3 ways to live better

Alvin — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 00:28:11 +0000

Live life with more courage

We have a lot of fear in our lives. Although fear has kept our ancestors alive (avoiding dangerous creatures), it has limit our potential too. Thanks to great men who had abolished fear that we are able to advance to what we are today. Thank you Thomas Edison for having the courage to fail 1000 times to discover the light bulb.

I went to Outward Bound Singapore (OBS) in my teens and there was a phrase on the building that we can see while we push off the canoes from the shore – “You cannot discover new oceans if you do not have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

We can live in our “safe” world and not try new things. We can choose to live in our comfort zone. But I found many of such people turned dispirited after a while. Men would not be happy if there is a mismatch in what they envisage their life to be, and the life that they are actually living. If you have a dream of doing something, go ahead and do it! Identify what are the things that are holding back and you will find most of them are just excuses that you refuse to overcome.

We only have one life, live it according to how you want it to be.

Stick to what you believe

As you pursue what you want in life, there would be a lot of naysayers to discourage you. Many people, even your family and close friends may disagree with you, you have to stick to what you believe. Do not be swayed by comments. You can be wrong, but stick to your belief until you are proven wrong. It is more convincing to be proven wrong than imagining that you could be wrong and let the fear hold you back. Being wrong can actually bring you closer to success. Most regrets in life is on something that you have not done, and less likely on something that you did wrong.

If Edison had believed the naysayers, we would not have light bulbs now.

Do not be concerned about what people think of you

Many times, we say things because what others like to hear, and not because we meant it. We are constantly and subconsciously being concerned about others’ impression of ourselves. Bruce Lee said the hardest thing to do is “honestly expressing ourselves”. It is very tiring to always have to put up a pretense and manage impressions, but we do it anyway. Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players”.

Do you want to act for life?

Inspired by Jon

10 things I learned about life in 2011

Alvin — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 03:07:35 +0000

We have come to the final week of 2011 and I have 10 things to share about life:

1) I have everything I need

Looking at the things I have, I can conclude that I have everything that I need. Humans do not need a lot of things to survive. To survive is not difficult for most of us. We can eat simply, live simply and use what we have. Do we really need the latest iPhone? Do we really need a big house? These are wants. We have got what we needed but we are not satisfied and we want to progress in the social ladder to fulfill our wants. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that we should not have wants. But we cannot focus on the lack – what I want but I have not get it yet. Instead, we should focus on what we have – I have everything I need. The latter mentality will let you live life with more courage because you have eradicated the fear of loss. When we focus on what we don’t have, we feel small and unaccomplished. When you know you have everything, you are more willing to give and the funny thing is, you will actually get more in return…

2) Focus on creating value

Most of us started out doing things for the benefit of ourselves. Many of us still are. This is mainly because we have fear of loss. We tend to think in a zero-sum world whereby we will lose if we give. The fact is there is always a ‘return’ when you give. The spirit of Christmas is to give and share the joy of love. When you pass a gift to another person, even if the party do not reciprocate, you are likely to end up with another gift from someone else. Besides the tangible presents, the relationship between the giver and receiver intangibly improves. Hence, the action of giving has a multiplying effect. We should treat every day as christmas and focus on others instead of ourselves. Focus on delivering good service and products to clients; show love and concern to your family and friends; go the extra mile for people; donate to the less fortunate; etc. The society will only be a better place when we think for others.

3) Provide an opportunity for others to give by accepting

Besides giving, we need to accept the kind gestures from others. Maybe it is peculiar to Chinese, I always see my parents and grandparents refuse to accept gifts because they do not want to appear greedy or feel indebted to the giver. They would spend minutes pushing the gifts to and fro. We are actually denying the chance for the person to give when we refuse to accept the gift or help. The process of giving stops. Put yourself in the shoes of the giver and the person rejected your gift. How would you feel?

4) Not about getting rich

As mentioned above, you will actually get more in return as you give more value to others. As such, you would probably end up with great wealth. This is the beauty of nature. Because you have exhibit the ability to care for others and now you are entrusted with the responsibility to command the wealth and do good for society. Wealth must be held by ethical and socially responsible people if not a lot of harm will be created. It is not about getting rich for the sake of yourself and your future generation. But when you believe that you are a good person and can do good for society, you should take up the responsibility to control wealth.

5) Investing is to help society allocate resources to the right areas

After trading and investing for the past few years, I have been asking myself what is the fundamental meaning of investing? If we can only be rewarded for the value we create, what value does investing provide? The closest I can think of is that investing is about channeling money to the right areas that needs development. Think of a blank piece of land – Money has to be paid for construction to develop the land. Think of a mining company – if there is a supply shortage in certain mineral, money will be channeled to the mining companies to expand the production and feed the society with sufficient supply. And if you have expected this shortage and invested in the mining companies, you would have been rewarded by the rising share price because you have helped the society identify the need and have already put in resources to develop it.

6) Focus on becoming a better person

Only when you become a better person, your actions will change and the world around you will change. If you want to increase your income, you cannot remain the same you. What kind of person do you need to be to take up a higher appointment? – Do you need to be more responsible? Do you need to be a confident speaker? What kind of person do you need to be as an entrepreneur? – Do you need to be decisive? Do you need to be driven? Answering these questions will help you understand what it takes to be where you want to be. But knowing is the first step, exercising the new behaviour would be the challenging part. You will only be given the job when you are able to exhibit the required behaviour.

7) Help people get rewarded through their efforts

As the saying goes, “give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and he can eat for a lifetime.” Have you ever encountered yourself refusing to delegate the work because your staff is not experienced enough to complete an important piece of work? The path of least resistance would be to do it yourself but not delegating is not being good to your staff. The greatest thing a leader can do is to help your staff accomplish the task and get them the necessary reward and recognition. This is much tougher than doing it yourself as more time and effort have to be put into it. But by doing so, you have already brought up the ability of your staff and this is a higher form of giving – teaching them how to fish.

8 ) Be present

I am a culprit for not being present most of the time. I find that in general, Singaporeans are very occupied and always have things in their minds. Just observe people walking briskly along the street and look at their faces when they are boarding trains. Majority seemed to be having their own bubbles and oblivious to the surroundings. I find myself drifting into this mode even when I am with family and friends. This is unhealthy as you cannot devote attention to building close relationships with people, especially those that you care about. Learning to focus on the present will definitely improve your life by reducing the stress (brooding over unfinished work), allowing you to enjoy the company and build strong relationships.

9) Cherish while they are here

This year, the Tanjong Pagar Railway Station was shut down and relocated to Woodlands. The news stirred the emotions of Singaporeans. Many people went to visit the station and took pictures. Some even took the train to Malaysia to experience the ride from the old station for the very last time. Why do we only cherish people or things when they are about to go? I would think this is the emotion of fear of loss. Have we spent enough time with our elder parents while they are still alive? Or do we always put more emphasis on work?

10) Go ahead to do things

More often than not, we regret for things that we have not done and not things that we have done wrongly. This links back to the previous point that we cherish people when they are about to go. Simply because we know that we have not spent enough time with the people that we care about, we dedicate all the remaining time to them in their dying days. And when we do not even have this opportunity, we will feel remorseful for our lack of actions. This applies in other areas of our life. There are many things we want to do in life. But we often put them off because of work or other excuses. These activities that you did not do will come back and haunt you someday. So go ahead and do them while you can!

Some of the points are rather heavy but the purpose of this post is to encourage us to think about our lives. I do not proclaim as an expert as I am still learning about life as much as others. I just want to share my experience and my thoughts about it. I wish you a joyful Christmas where you enjoy the company of family and friends, and great food!

The Wisdom of Andrew Carnegie as told to Napoleon Hill

Alvin — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 03:25:31 +0000

I find this book to have a long and weird title. This book records the interview that Napoleon Hill did with Andrew Carnegie, which talks about the 17 success principles. Let me share with you the striking philosophy that I picked up from the book. To make sure no meaning is lost, I shall quote Andrew Carnegie’s words in verbatim.

The importance of knowing your purpose in life, and how it translates to tangible benefits,

“Definiteness of Purpose involving a hundred dollars, for example, might be translated into its financial equivalent in a few days, or even a few hours, or a few minutes, whereas, desire for a million dollars might call for considerably more time, depending to some extent on what one has to give in return for the million dollars… The best way I can think of to describe the time necessary for the translation of a definite purpose into its physical or financial equivalent, can be accurately stated by determining the exact time necessary to deliver the service, or the equivalent in value one intends to give in return for the object of that purpose.”

Wealth is a process of providing valuable service to others,

“riches and material things that men get are the effect of some form of useful services they rendered. My fortune did not come to me until I had delivered to others definite values in the form of large quantities of well-made steel.”

Money has no use when in possession, money need to be used constructively,

“…men seldom profit by money except that which they earn… The good there is in money consists of the use to which it is put, and not in the mere possession of it. Generally speaking, the man who earns his own money, acquires, along with it, some of the necessary wisdom as to its constructive use.”

Embrace responsibilities and work,

“Of the thousands of men who work for me, I hazard the guess that not more than a score of them would be willing to assume my responsibilities and work the hours I work, if I gave them all the money I possess for doing so. A few of the men who work for me have been willing to assume such responsibilities, and it is significant that every one of these is as rich as he desires to be.”

Teach wealth principles and not merely give away money. Teach a man to fish and not just give him the fish.

“… the very best method of distributing wealth is that of distributing the principles of achievement by which wealth is procured.”

The importance to leverage on other people’s expertise and experience,

“I have surrounded myself with more than a score of men whose combined education, experience, and ability, give me the full benefit of all that is known, up to the present time, about the making and marketing of steel. My job is to keep these men inspired with a desire to do the finest possible job.”

Definition of power and knowledge,

“… success is the power to get whatever one desires in life, without violating the rights of others… Knowledge is not power but the appropriation and use of other men’s knowledge and experience, for the attainment of some definite purpose, is power; moreover, it is power of the most beneficial order.”

In forming a Master Mind group…

“…seldom does anyone has the ability, to induce others to serve as members of a Master Mind group, without giving something in return for the service received. The motive may be financial reward, or it may consist of some form of return favors, but it must be something which is of equal value to or greater than the service expected.”

A leader is a servant,

“Every leader’s motto should be “The Greatest Among You Shall Be the Servant of All!”

Understanding your motive and others’ motive,

“… no one ever does anything without a motive. Men lend their experience, their knowledge, and their aid to other men because they have been given a sufficient motive for doing so.”

Your thoughts dictate your actions,

“… every man is where he is and what he is because of his won mental attitude as it is expressed through his personality.”

The importance of the ability to deliver an effective speech,

“we can see by examining the history of mankind, the entire trend of civilization has been influenced by men who could dramatize an idea with the spoken word.”

Know your subject well!

“No amount of dramatic technique will ever take the place of the self-assurance a speaker feels when he knows his subject!”

“We have no trouble in giving feeling to speech when we believe what we are saying!”

Don’t be afraid of failing,

“Examine the records of the truly great leaders in all walks of life and you will discover that their success is in exact proportion to their mastery of failures.”

Difference between an obsessional motive and a wish,

“… one’s motive must be obsessional. That is, it must be so strong that it impels a man to subordinate all his thoughts and efforts to its attainment. Too often people become confused between motive and a mere wish. Wishing will not bring success. If it did everyone would be successful, because all people have wishes.”

Move on to nobler motive,

“In the beginning I was motivated by a desire for self-expression and the desire for financial influence with which to make that expression widespread in its influence. But, in carrying out my original motive I happily hit upon a bigger and nobler motive – the motive of making men instead of making money.”

“I caught the vision of that greater motive as the result of my having discovered, in the process of making money, the great need for better men. If civilization is to evolve to still higher standards of living, or hold even the gains it has made, men must be taught higher standards of human relationship than those which now prevail.”

Direct your emotions and not try to eliminate them,

“The emotions of man are something like a river in that their power can be dammed up and released in whatever proportions and whatever directions one desires, but they cannot be eliminated. Through self-discipline a man can organize all his emotions and release them, in a highly concentrated form, as a means of attaining the object of his plans and purpose.”

Do what you love,

“A man will always be more effective when engaged in sort of work he likes best. That is why one’s major purpose in life should be of his own choice. People who drift through life, performing work they do not like, merely because they must have an income as a means of living, seldom get more than a living from their labor.”

Impart knowledge,

“… I am giving away the money I have accumulated, but this is not the solution of any part of the problem you mention. What the people need is not a gift of money, but a gift of knowledge with which they may become self-determining, including not only the accumulation of money, but the more important matter of learning how to find happiness in their relationships with others.”

Derive happiness from providing a service,

“I have never heard of anyone finding enduring happiness except by some form of personal action of benefit to others. You see, the business of accumulating riches, if it is carried on in the right spirit, not only provides a man with the necessities and the luxuries his nature requires, but he also finds happiness in his activities.”

Riches is not just materials,

“… real riches consist not in material things, but in the use one gives to material wealth. But, mind you, I am not giving it away to individuals, but I am placing it where it may inspire individuals to help themselves.”

You determine your promotion,

“An employer has but little to do with the promotion of such a person. If one employer neglects to recognize his ability, he finds another who will, but he manages to keep growing and advancing in any direction he chooses.”

People influence the environment, and environment shapes the others,

“The psychologist with a keen sense of perception can walk into any home, get the “mental feel” of the place, and tell precisely whether the home is dominated by the spirit if bickering and friction. The mental attitude of people leaves its permanent influence on the very atmosphere of their environment.”

Find what you love to do,

“A man will succeed best in that which he likes best, all else being equal. It is advisable for one to change provided he does not get into the habit of changing every time the work he has chosen becomes difficult, or he meets with temporary defeat… The successful person must reach the stage of specialization, sooner or later; the sooner the better.”

For most people who are clueless in what they want to do in life, it is more worthwhile to work for others, and allow the management to direct them. They will also become better people because they are pushed to work and forced out of their comfort zone.

“… an able coordinator not only serves the interests of a business as a whole, but he aids the individuals who work in the business as a whole, but he aids the individuals who work in the business to so direct their efforts that they can earn more than they would be worth if they lack this guidance. Men require discipline, guidance and supervision, in order to make their efforts of the greatest value to themselves and to others. If you doubt this, observe what happens when the management of any business becomes inefficient, selfish or dishonest.”

How big is your wealth container?

Alvin — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 01:01:04 +0000

Why are some people richer than others? What makes you deserve a greater wealth?

Dennis was sharing with us that the wealth of a person depends on how big his container is. Everyone has a container and it relates to the ability of the person to attract wealth. Essentially, his message is that we need to know the principle of Be-Do-Have. We need to be the kind of person to command $1 million first, before we can have $1 million. On the contrary, most people will only dream about having $1 million, and it often remain as a dream.

We need to ask how would a millionaire think and behave? Compare to our thinking patterns and behaviour, how far are we from a millionaire? What are the wrong perceptions we need to remove? What are the new beliefs that we need to adopt? What are the skills require to get to that level? What are the bad habits that we need to unlearn? You should know by now that the focus is about becoming a better person. The wealth container will grow as you turn better and the more money you can command.

Imagine Employee A is someone who always bitch about work, his colleagues and his boss. Everyday he shows no interest in work, he take lengthy coffee breaks, read newspapers, gossip with colleagues, shuns work, unwilling to help others and produces very little. Meanwhile, Employee B takes work seriously and focuses on completing his tasks. He even extends his helping hand to colleagues, or in fact, doing Employee A’s work. If you are the boss, who would you promote? Who would you give more bonus to? You will not promote him unless you really favour Employee A. Hence, it will not be long that Employee B will be rewarded for his efforts. Even if he is not recognised in his workplace, he could take with him his experience and work ethics and contribute elsewhere readily. He may even be poached by other companies. Employee B will pass any interview with flying colours because he will be able to display confidence and knowledge in his expertise. Employee B’s wealth container is bigger than Employee A’s. Overtime, Employee B will have a greater wealth as compared to Employee A’s. Compounding effect works in this aspect too.

The message is that we need to focus on ourselves, adopt the right mindset, behave the right way, and wealth will find us. Or like T.Harv Eker said to focus on the roots and not the fruits. You cannot change the quantity and quality of fruits (money) if you do not change the roots (thinking). People do not like to hear what is wrong with them. People are resistant to change. And that is why their wealth container don’t expand.

What is your message to the world?

Alvin — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 02:01:46 +0000

Steve Jobs has passed away and the entire world was saddened by the demise of this great man. What makes him so revered as compared to those who passed away in the same day? Is it because he made a difference in your life indirectly? Is it because he created a lot of value in the society? How did having iPods, iPhones and iPads add positivity to your life?

I used to think I need to find a passion in my life where I would dive into it day and night, and I will live happily. I have been trying to find it but still unsuccessful so far. I have a vague idea but something is still amiss. Jobs said, “If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”

“Passion – a strong enthusiasm for a (specified) thing; an aim or object pursued with strong enthusiasm. ~ Oxford Dictionary”

I read the book, “The Purpose Driven Life”. The author said that we need a mission in life. Something we will do for humanity and devote our life to it, making a contribution to the society as such. I also remembered Dale Carnegie asked us to think about our funeral and what would we want our eulogy to be? What do we want to be remembered for?

“Purpose – a thing to be done; an object to be attained, an intention, an aim. Or the action to do something; resolution, determination. ~ Oxford dictionary”

“Mission – an act or instance of sending someone or something, to perform some function or service ~ Oxford dictionary”

At work, I was supposed to prepare some material for an important visit. My boss told me there was a message to be sent to this VIP and asked me to craft the content as such. I have learned in my work that pushing out a plan or policy involves selling a central idea, or a message. Always ask what is the message I want to deliver. I think it is very applicable to my life – what is my message in life?

“Message – the carrying of a communication; a mission, an errand ~ Oxford dictionary”

Every successful person in this world had a message to this world. Although not explicitly stated, you would have a rough idea. Steve Jobs’ message is that IT products can be revolutionalised and make our lives better. Gandhi’s message is that we can achieve more with less violence. Michael Jackson’s message is that pop music and dance can be entertaining. Even companies have messages. McDonalds’ message is that food can be delivered fast without compromise in standards. Nike’s message is that you need to work out to have a better life. Coca Cola’s message is that cola is enjoyable and refreshing.

Once you have a message, you would want to send it to as many people as possible. The message can be delivered through a product or a service. That is why successful people are rich. They created value for the society. The more people you served, the greater your wealth will be. Your message does not need to be grand. For example, a hawker’s message can be that chicken rice is delicious. And he will work passionately to make chicken rice as delicious as it can be, and convince as many people as possible to try it. If the chicken rice is really delicious, people will enjoy it and the process itself added happiness to them and the chicken rice hawker.

If you think that I am encouraging entrepreneurship, please do not get me wrong. You can also carry your life’s message as an employee. You can be happy working as long as your life’s message and the company’s message are aligned. The problem with most of us is that we are blinded by money. We want to do the job that paid the most. And then we will slog and complain about work everyday. For the middle class, I don’t think we lack money. It is the desire for a higher standard of living and greater material wealth that gave us the idea that we do not have enough money. We are working for the wrong reason. We are exchanging our lives for the wrong purpose.

I would like to quote Steve Jobs again,

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

We need to find our individual messages in life. We need to find our voice, no matter how little. We need to make a contribution to this world, no matter how small. Only in this way, we will live a purposeful life and pass on with no regrets.

[PS: If you ask me what is my message, I would say I do not have a clear idea at this point in time. Roughly, it would be that you can become wealthy by applying the right knowledge.]

The Go-giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann

Alvin — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 14:12:19 +0000

I met Dennis 2 years ago during the Christmas period. He showed me this book, “The Go-giver“, which he bought for every employee in his company. It was only recently that I got to read the book.

It is written as a fiction story but with the intention to elicit certain principles of success.

As I read, I recollected what Dennis shared with me during our conversation 2 years ago. I have also found the cause for my personal flaw from the book. It is indeed powerful.

About the story:

Joe was a young and ambitious salesman who was a goal oriented person. His interest in life was about excelling in his job and earn as much money as possible. It was also through this goal-getting behaviour, he met a wise old man who eventually became his mentor. This old man taught him 5 laws that would make him successful in life. It was not only about achieving more, but also about enriching every area of his life. Joe utilised his lunch time to meet the mentor and a different guest everyday, for 5 days. Each day, he would learn one law and he was to take action that very day. If he failed to do so, he would not meet the mentor again. This was the condition he had to fulfilled.

Quotes from the book (I lifted these quotes that are useful for me. You will find something relevant for you as you read the book):

“I believe that a person can reach a certain level of success without being particularly special. But to get really big, to reach the kind of stratospheric success we’re talking about, people need to have something on the inside, something that’s genuine.”

“Now, by a network I don’t necessarily mean your customers or clients. I mean a network of people who know you, like you and trust you. They might never buy a thing from you, but they’ve always got you in the backs of their minds… They’re people who are personally invested in seeing you succeed, y’see? And of course, that’s because you’re the same way about them. They’re your army of personal walking ambassadors… you’ll have referrals coming your way faster than you can handle them.”

“But most of the time, what people call ‘win-win’ is really just a disguised way of keeping track. Making sure we all come out even, that nobody gets the advantage… When you base your relationships – in business or anywhere else in your life – on who owes who what, that’s not being a friend. That’s being a creditor… Watch out for the other guy. Watch out for his interests. Watch his back. Forget about fifty-fifty, son. Fifty-fifty’s a losing proposition. The only winning proposition is one hundred percent. Make your win about the other person, go after what he wants. Forget win-win – focus on the other person’s win.”

“They love to give. That’s why they’re attractive. Givers attract.”

The 5 laws of stratospheric success (click here for pdf version released on the blog of the authors)

The Law of Value:
Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.

The Law of Compensation
Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.

The Law of Influence
Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.

The Law of Authenticity
The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.

The Law of Receptivity
The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.

Personal Reflections:

It was the law of influence that I realised the crux of my weakness in inter-personal skills. I did not show sufficient genuine interest in other people’s lives. What comes around, goes around. If I do not show care and concern for others, they would in turn not bothered about me. The world does not revolve around me and I must make an effort to shift the axis on others. No man is an island, what good is success if I have no one to share it with.

A conversion between Joe and his mentor struck me. Joe explained his true agenda of meeting his mentor was to seek the opportunity to secure a business contract with him. However, his mentor replied, “… that wasn’t the reason you came to see me. You only thought it was the reason you came to see me… You were hungry to learn about success. Genuine success.” Initially, I met Dennis with the intention to see if we could collaborate for my blog. Thinking back, that may not be the real reason. Subconsciously, I wanted to meet him because I want to learn about how he became successful.

I was and I am hungry for success.

Man's ultimate desire is to please woman

Alvin — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 15:09:11 +0000

Napoleon Hill, in his classic book, “Think and Grow Rich”, mentioned that the ultimate desire of man is to please woman. This reminded me of Caltex’s slogan “What Drives You?”. The fundamental reason why human beings do what they do – which I believe is making sure your genes survive you in this world. What this means for man is, to please woman so that you can achieve that goal of genetic inheritance. I cannot agree more to Hill’s text. It brings deeper meaning every time you revisit the book. Quoting him on that section:

“Man’s greatest motivating force is his desire to please woman! The hunter who excelled during prehistoric days, before the dawn of civilization, did so, because of his desire to appear great in the eyes of woman. Man’s nature has not changed in this respect. The “hunter” of today brings home no skins of wild animals, but he indicates his desire for her favor by supplying fine clothes, motor cars, and wealth. Man has the same desire to please woman that he had before the dawn of civilization. The only thing that has changed, is his method of pleasing. Men who accumulate large fortunes, and attain to great heights of power and fame, do so, mainly, to satisfy their desire to please women.

Take women out of their lives, and great wealth would be useless to most men. It is this inherent desire of man to please woman, which gives woman the power to make or break a man.

Men may be “giants” with indomitable will-power when dealing with other men, but they are easily managed by the women of their choice. Most men will not admit that they are easily influenced by the women they prefer, because it is in the nature of the male to want to be recognized as the stronger of the species.

Some men know that they are being influenced by the women of their choice–their wives, sweethearts, mothers or sisters–but they tactfully refrain from rebelling against the influence because they are intelligent enough to know that NO MAN IS HAPPY OR COMPLETE WITHOUT THE MODIFYING INFLUENCE OF THE RIGHT WOMAN. The man who does not recognize this important truth deprives himself of the power which has done more to help men achieve success than all other forces combined.”

Your Greatest Asset

Why men seldom succeed before 40?

Alvin — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 09:02:51 +0000

Napoleon Hill penned this observation in his “Think and Grow Rich” book, under “The Mystery of Sex Transmutation” chapter.

“I discovered, from analysis of over twenty-five thousand people, that men who succeed in an outstanding way, seldom do so before the age of forty, and more often they do not strike their real pace until they are well beyond the age of fifty. This fact was so astounding that it prompted me to go into the study of its cause most carefully.

This study disclosed the fact that the major reason why the majority of men who succeed do not begin to do so before the age of forty to fifty, is their tendency to dissipate their energies through over-indulgence in physical expression of the emotion of sex. The majority of men never learn that the urge of sex has other possibilities, which far transcend in importance that of mere physical expression. The majority of those who make this discovery do so after having wasted many years at a period when the sex energy is at its height, prior to the age of forty-five to fifty. This usually is followed by noteworthy achievement.”

Hill seemed to suggest we should not engage in too much sexual activities, such that we dissipate the strongest energy unproductively. To quote him again, “the majority of men lower themselves, through misunderstanding and misuse of this great force, to the status of the lower animals”. He even said that if we continuously dissipate our sexual energies physically, what difference do we have with animals?

His point is that it would be more worthwhile to master the art of sex transmutation, to transfer the sexual energy to seek success, and eventually excel in life. To him, this is the most productive use of our emotions for sex. Instead of suppressing it, we should be utilising this vast amount of energy to push us to greater heights and keep us motivated down the road. In other words, all men are sex-driven, and the difference between successful men and ordinary men is how the energies are spent. Thinking about it, there are also successful men who created their downfall when they committed to sexual activities. One prominent and recent example would be Tiger Woods.

If you agree with Hill, how do you think you can transmute sexual energies to other areas of your life?